I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
