In the future we'll all be gay
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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