elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
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