I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
