she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
