I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
