ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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