why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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