so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
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