I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
