im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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