Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
