You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
