BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
