Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
grandma shit on top of the toilet
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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