About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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