none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
