Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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