i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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