Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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