whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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