that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize