Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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