Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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