btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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