I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
May the power of my ass compel you!!
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize