Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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