How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
you win again, gameday.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Houston, we have a blender
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Randomize