You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
why is half of my head shaved?
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