After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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