cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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