I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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