The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
