After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
