Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
