Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
