True but thats because hes a fetus.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
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