Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
