I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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