Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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