WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
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