Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
