the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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