My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
