You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
