now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
