Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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