Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
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