just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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