I like my sex mixed with concussions.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
