i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
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I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
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Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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