I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
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I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
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And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
How many fucks given?
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.