I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...