u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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