dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
