Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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