How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
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Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
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Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
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