So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
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