Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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