i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
