Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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