So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
