i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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