Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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