So drunk its hurt
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
