Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize