He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I need a burrito and a hug.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
