Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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